More than Words
by TTY7
Summary: As a human she would fully enjoy the bounties of her eternal life while carving her love into the humans she loved so much. Instead of seeing the faces of Haruna, Anri, or some other using her power, her precious humans would see her face as she cut them. For once, they would be near enough to know that she was the one that loved them. And the first to feel her new love would be...
1. Prologue A: Saika

A/N: Hey everyone! So, this random plot bunny entered into my brain a few days ago and I had to write it down. The following first chapter is centered around an idea of what would happen if Saika somehow managed to escape from the clutches of her parasite, Anri Sonohara, and transformed into a human form. (Don't ask me how Saika is able to do this. Heck if I know right now. That's what fanfiction powers are for.) I thought it would be interesting to plot out a story focusing on a character that is more or less glossed over after the initial Saika arc. (At least in the anime. I don't know about the light novels or manga because I haven't read those.) Anyway, this story takes place immediately after the end of Durarara X2 Shou, which is the first 12 episodes of season 2. This makes this story an AU...somewhat since it's more of an alternate storyline rather than universe, but I'm babbling and I'm sure you guys rather get to reading. So, let's move on.

Warning: Because Saika is not originally a human character nor do I remember her having a distinct personality aside from wanting to cut things to show her love for the human race, let's just say that Saika will be an OC version of herself here. I'll keep her in character as much as I can, but I make no promises given that I'm transforming her into a human right off the bat.

Disclaimer: I do not own the world or characters of Durarara. I only own my interpretation of this human version of Saika. I hope you all enjoy the first chapter of this fanfiction.

Last little note: The actual inspiration behind this work was an anime wallpaper I found while browsing through Pinterest which is the cover image of this story.

* * *

When Anri Sonohara sleeps, the sword hidden beneath her skin becomes more active. The voices of love intensify during the hours of darkness, causing the orphaned teen to toss and turn in the thin sheets of her bed. More often than not, the girl only sleeps for a couple hours at a time because she has to be conscious to suppress the powerful desires of the blade she has wielded ever since the death of her parents.

However, tonight would be a different story. Chaos has reigned supreme in Anri's life for two days straight now, starting when the mysterious Russian assassin attacked her within her home. From there, the events that transpired became one ridiculous nightmare after another. Twice that day she'd been forced to reveal her blade in order to fight...and in front of Mikado no less. He was bound to bombard her with questions at some point because of her actions, and if Anri were to be honest, she rather not answer them.

Then again, she probably wouldn't have to. Mikado disappeared after the day's struggle between the Dollars and Toromaru (the random biker gang from Saitama) ended in a draw. Anri wasn't certain of when or even why Mikado ran off in the middle of the fray. Instinctively, though she rather not think on it, Anri knew that there was something going on with him. He had been acting somewhat strange for the last few days anyhow, but today...Mikado seemed more desperate to be part of the action than normal, which frightened the girl. To think about what might have happened to him if she hadn't been there to protect him from the idiotic thugs who happened to be Dollars members and the Russian woman aiming to kill them for some unknown reason stirred terrible feelings in the heart she hadn't known she possessed.

Even so, her concerns only lied with Mikado and another friend who had disappeared from the city months ago. The rest was just a colossal mess the orphaned teen held no desire to clean. After all, if she forced Ikebukuro to become a utopia of peace using her blade as a means of control, she would be bending her morals to the will of a certain informant who prided himself in his manipulation of others. The last thing she wanted was to become like him.

But, in the wake of today's events, Anri couldn't say that she hadn't been temped to use the blade in that way. In pondering that train of thought, the parasite gave the spirit within her sword strength and caused the words of love to overwhelm her for an instant during the second fight with the Russian assassin. Had it not been for the leader of the Toromaru choosing that second to interfere, the battle might have ended with the Russian woman being slashed.

And then, everyone would have seen her for the monster she truly was inside.

When Anri finally returned home that evening, she checked the online chat on the Dollars website, hoping to distract herself for a while, but no one was present. For a while she stared at the screen of her phone, digesting the information of the empty chat room through a haze of colorless sight. Once again she had the feeling that something was amiss, but decided it was best not to think on it too much.

Weary from the day's events, the teen bearing the curse of a demonic blade threw herself onto the covers of her bed to reminisce about simpler times with her two best friends; however, in the midst of her deep thinking, Anri fell unconscious from the heavy weight of fatigue. The strong voices of love ceased to echo in her mind for the time being.

Saika, who had become more and more self-aware in the last few months, viewed Anri's state of unconsciousness as an opportunity to finally break free from her parasite so she could carve her love into the precious humans the teen girl encountered on a daily basis. There were so many interesting people to love, and Saika, being the curious and enthralled blade that she was, couldn't bear to wait a second longer to show them how she felt.

 _I will...express my love for them. All of them. I will cut them all. One by one..._

With this thought, the pristine demonic blade began to inch its way out from the palm of Anri's right hand, its inward voice giggling lightheartedly all the while. Her parasite breathed evenly, too deep in slumber to regain the control she was losing.

The sword continued to edge its way out, glowing with a dark red aura as Saika's excitement grew.

 _Freedom...must be free to love...to cut...to love...because I couldn't love him before. I must love him. I must show my love!_

The aura intensified around the blade, illuminating the room in crimson light when the hilt drifted away from Anri's hand. The sword then floated away from the girl, hovering a foot away from the bed where the parasite lay. Anri shifted on top of the covers, turning her back to the blade without realizing it. For a few seconds the teen was conscious enough to process that her mind was unusually quiet, but the ache of exhaustion lulled her back to sleep before she could consider the implications of what having a silent mind meant.

All the while, the crimson aura consumed the blade, transforming its shape into a massive orb of light as it descended to the carpeted floor. Inside the orb, a black substance sloshed about before molding itself into a human-like figure.

 _I have to move on my own..._

In the dissipating orb of light, a delicate, pale hand reaches out, clawing at the fibers of the carpet with nimble fingers.

 _I want to...be part of them..._

After an additional minute, the orb disappears in a puff of crimson smoke. The vapors circulate around the womanly silhouette lying on the floor.

 _I want...to be alive like them..._

Pale eyelids framed in long dark lashes open, revealing two glowing crimson eyes that stare blankly ahead.

For a few minutes, Saika continues to lay there on the floor, mesmerized by the feeling of the lush carpet beneath her as her eyes adjust to the darkness of the apartment. Then, by slow increments she begins to move, testing her ability to control her new form. Having always been a blade mobilized by the hands of another, the amount of effort it takes for her to lift herself from the floor is substantial. Her entire being suffered from a form of entropy, but Saika was determined to overcome whatever force hindered her movements.

An hour passed with Anri tossing and turning in the bed every so often, increasing Saika's incentive to get her new body to work properly, but getting accustomed to her new limbs proved itself to be a worthy challenge. Her excitement grew at the prospect of what it would be like to have control of these appendages.

After another thirty minutes of trembling, Saika finally manages to use her arms to lift her torso from off the floor. Long tresses of wavy silver locks spill over her new shoulders, the ends hovering delicately over her fingertips as she continues to push herself into an upright position. The sword's new limbs cry out in discomfort at the unnatural movements, but Saika makes no sound to indicate that she feels anything, nor does she inhale, exhale, or even blink throughout the struggle. Instead she just smiles, her crimson eyes sparkling with newfound happiness in her evolution.

Once on her knees, Saika looks down at herself, noting the midnight blue wrap-around dress she wore. There was a long split up the left side of the dress, revealing the skin of her newly obtained legs. The muscles of her mouth contorted, allowing the small grin on her face to widen into a twisted smirk of appreciation.

For centuries she had waited for a moment like this, a moment to be real, a moment to show her love for humans without needing help from parasites like Anri Sonohara. From now on, her children would worship her and follow her every whim. She would finally be in control of her immortal life.

Nevertheless, Saika still faced the dilemma of being stuck in a knelt position on the floor. While being in this form liberated her, the demonic blade realized that she'd become somewhat weaker. It was a small price to pay. After all, it's not as if she can be destroyed. She had lived incarcerated within a metal prison for her entire existence, praying for a day when she would be strong enough to become something more than just a lonely spirit trapped in a sword's form.

In a way, it was because of Anri's growing feelings for Mikado that Saika had been able to gain this ability to take a human shape at all, though the demonic spirit couldn't guess why the teen had taken such an interest in the pitiful boy. The girl encountered humans that were far more interesting than him, or any of the humans Saika had seen while in the hands of others throughout her time in this world.

There was one in particular that she wanted to find right away.

The thought of seeing him again gave Saika the surge of strength she needed to rise shakily to her feet. Once fully erect, she appraised her appearance by shifting her gaze toward the nearby full-length mirror. She had chosen an hourglass body shape for herself, having observed that most humans saw it aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Tilting her head, she wove her new fingers through a few strands of the silver hair trailing down her back in gentle waves before hesitantly poking the side of her deathly pale face with an index finger. She felt bone underneath the skin a few inches below her left eye. In surprise she used her right hand to poke the right side of her face in the same spot. She assessed that these were cheekbones, high cheekbones. Yet another aesthetically pleasing for a woman that Saika took pleasure in having. Dropping her hands back down to her sides, she clutched the fabric of the midnight blue dress that gracefully hugged her new curves and showed off long, pale legs, completing the image of a beautiful human woman.

Her crimson eyes would probably frighten a few of her objects of affection, but Saika didn't feel the need to change her eye color. Having eyes to convey her feelings at all was enough. They would serve her well.

A strangled sob escaped from Anri Sonohara while the sword was still checking herself out in the mirror. Saika turned around in response to the sob, afraid her former parasite had awoken, but the girl was still sleeping, probably having a nightmare about the friends she seemed to care so much for-not that Saika was concerned about what Anri was dreaming about. What was more important was the fact that continuous tossing meant the girl wouldn't be asleep for much longer.

She narrowed her crimson gaze on the whimpering teen. " _I need to leave while I can."_

Saika's long legs wobbled when she tried to take a step away from the bed, mainly because of the red strappy high-heels her feet were clad in, and when she did successfully manage to take a step, the fancy footwear created unnecessary noise. That would be a problem once she left Anri's bedroom. The floor in the rest of the apartment was cheap tile that would make her footfalls sound even louder.

Wary about moving too quickly, Saika bent over a bit and appraised the shoes on her feet with mild distaste before carefully unbuckling the strap of the shoe on her right foot. She repeated the process with the left, then carried the shoes in her right hand by the straps. Though new to being in a human's form, she had observed them long enough to know many habits and practices of the human race. Even with glowing eyes, if she obtained a pair of sunglasses, she would be able to blend in with the society around her and then...when she felt the desire to carve her love into someone, she would use her bare hands to do so. Certainly her new fingernails would be sharp enough to do that, right?

Giddy with excitement at the prospect of ripping through flesh, the demonic blade used her new legs to carry herself across the floor at a slow and steady pace-the entropy having left the limbs a short time ago. When she reached the door she hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should leave Anri the parting gift of her love before taking off. It was a brief contemplation in which Saika ultimately decided to continue on her way. Anri Sonohara was a parasite. She had given enough of her love to it.

The demonic blade turned human, who was well acquainted with the locks on Anri's door, unlatched them one by one before gently pushing it open with her palm. Crisp night air wafted into the apartment, blowing back strands of her ivory hair when she took a step forward to meet the silent wind that gently caressed her face. The sensation brought a feeling of joy she had never experienced before in those seconds of silence, her smile becoming more serene as she inhaled for the first time.

There was so much to enjoy in this new form. She could breathe if she chose and let in oxygen into her body while simultaneously exhaling carbon dioxide. She could smell the chemicals in the air, but also the clean scent of an oncoming storm. Her new ears picked up sounds from miles away. Tidbits of conversation, the roaring engine of a car, and the whispers of feet padding against pavement all reached her ears. Though nowhere near those sounds, when Saika closed her eyes for the first time, she felt as if she were right there in the city, taking in all it had to offer.

As a human she would fully enjoy the bounties of her eternal life while carving her love into the humans she loved so much. Instead of seeing the faces of Haruna, Anri, or some other using her power, her precious humans would see _her_ face as she cut them. For once, they would be near enough to know that _she_ was the one that loved them.

And she would always love them. Forever and ever and ever.

" _I'm...so happy_ ," Saika thought whimsically, quietly closing the unlocked door behind her without a care for what would happen if the Russian assassin came back to eliminate her former parasite. Anri Sonohara was no longer her concern.

In soundless cheer she skipped along barefoot past the other apartments, the fabric of her dress dancing along with her movements in the strengthening breeze.

" _I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!_ "

Finally free, Saika danced her way into the night, unaware of the many weaknesses her new body held. In a human form, she could experience the joys of breathing the crisp night air, eating the wonderful smelling foods, seeing the reactions of people up close, and feeling the textures of the world with her new hands-hands that would be able to feel the beautiful liquid of life when it poured from her beloved's veins.

However, in this new form she would find herself unable show her love in the same way. Saika was no longer a sword. She was a demonic spirit masquerading as a human, having grown tired of living as a tool for others personal use. To turn back meant being immobile again and that was the last thing Saika would want now after getting a taste of what human life was like. The freedom it brought her led to an outright refusal to ever become a sword again, but in making that decision she had unknowingly left herself vulnerable to the humans who would gaze upon her and see nothing more than a weak, naïve woman.

Right now, unarmed and carelessly dancing barefoot alone in the dark of the night, that's exactly what she was.

In this form, Saika is an easy target with no concept of human cruelty. Humans were fascinating subjects for her, so much so that it blinded her to how monstrous they could sometimes be, especially when plagued with corrupted and vile hearts of malice. Of course, a former demonic blade would have no care for such things, having left oceans of blood in her wake.

Saika loves humans.

All of them will feel her love eventually.

And the first to receive this love from her new form will be a certain blonde gentleman, the strongest human in all of Ikebukuro and perhaps the world.

A man simply known as Shizuo Heiwajima.

* * *

A/N: So, that ends the first chapter. If you guys are interested in seeing more, let me know in the review box down below. Until next time, have a wonderful day guys.


	2. Prologue B: Shizuo Heiwajima

A/N: Hey everyone! Next up, chapter 2. Thanks to those who have reviewed and added this story to their favorite's list so far. I really appreciate it and I hope you guys will continue to enjoy this work.

Warnings: This chapter is a bit shorter than I typically like to write them and had considered the idea with combining this chapter with the third one, but ultimately decided against it. Also, this is the first time I have ever written anything for Shizuo's character, so if you see something off down below when it comes to how he acts, let me know.

Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara. I only own my interpretation of what a human version of Saika would be like...which is not present in this second chapter anyway so...eh. (Cue nonchalant shrugging.)

* * *

Sleep was something that eluded Shizuo Heiwajima more often than not.

It wasn't that the man couldn't sleep at all-though many around him were under the ludicrous delusion that he was just an invincible force of energy twenty-four seven and therefore didn't need to rest-nor was his inability to catch precious z's even because he had heavy things weighing on his mind. The man simply preferred to stay awake. He was unaware that the lack of proper sleep was probably the reason for his more violent mood swings these days, but even if he had realized it, the notion to care wouldn't have struck him.

In the end, it was more important to him to keep his rats nest of an apartment in tact.

When he slept, Shizuo lost control over himself. He was lucky if the universe was kind enough to allow him a rare taste of dreamless sleep where he stayed still for the six or seven hours required for a normal human to feel rested. On most occasions, however, he was unlucky and ended up plagued with images from the past day, past month, or from all the way back to his early childhood when he'd been a brown-haired snot-nosed demon of a kid with a crush for a kind flower shop owner. Sometimes he had vivid nightmares, though most of them were just a million Izaya clones walking about Ikebukuro, taunting him with that stupid feral grin he always sported whenever they saw each other. In the dreams Shizuo would rip street signs, vending machines, guard rails, anything heavy he could get his hands on, and attempt to beat the daylights out of all the wretched fleas, but they never stopped coming. They just hobbled around insanely, angering the blonde all the more.

Upon waking up from such dreams, Shizuo would usually find himself in a twisted position on the floor with an arm or a foot jammed into the wall. Once he had even managed to break through the paint and plaster with his thick skull and had woken up to a cockroach having a little tea party on top of his nose.

In actuality the little critter had just been sitting there minding its own business, but when just regaining consciousness after a string of agitating nightmares, a person tends to over exaggerate reality just a bit.

Needless to say, Shizuo ripped through half the wall that morning and it was also on that morning that the blonde resolved to never sleep again. Obviously he couldn't do this since he was (despite all his monstrous strength) human. There was a limit to how long he could go on with his daily routine of beating scum senseless before passing out. Of course, given the man's strength, he could manage days without sleep better than the average person.

Tonight he was coming upon his seventy-fourth hour without so much as a nap.

Earlier today he had ran all across Ikebukuro looking to kill the flea for sending a _child_ to try and do him in. Orihara had certainly crossed a line of no return there, and as far as Shizuo was concerned, it was high time he finally kicked the bucket.

In other words, it was time to finally force the flea to pack his bags for a one-way trip to Hell. Then again, Izaya would probably enjoy that, so sending him to Heaven might have been a better idea, but Shizuo didn't ponder much on where soulless men ended up after death. He was much more concerned with just ending Izaya's earthly existence period.

However, the flea never entered into the fray unprepared. He set Shizuo up to be blamed for three murders the blonde just happened to stumble upon after being tricked by a sign on the front door to Izaya's apartment/office, which sent the Awakusu into a mad frenzy of a goose chase that ended up with him having to rescue the leader's daughter from some crazy Russian assassins after dealing with the mess going on because the Dollars and Torumaru had decided to go at it for whatever ridiculous reason.

Today he'd been chased, stabbed, punched, stabbed again with three short-swords, then hugged by the girl Izaya had manipulated into doing his bidding.

At this point, events like this are becoming a typical day-in-the-life story for him, and so what would normally land a man in the hospital for a two good weeks left Shizuo with a dull ache of exhaustion more or less ignored as his body healed at an unnatural pace.

He sits on a worn out black sofa in the center of his living room with his sock covered feet pressed against the floor. The man had discarded the vest and bow tie of his bartender get-up about an hour ago, leaving him clad in just the white dress-shirt and black slacks. His blue sunglasses lay on the wooden coffee table in front of him next to it sat a half-empty glass of cold milk. At this moment his gaze is trained on the ceiling fan slowly revolving, creating a quiet breeze in his still, crumbling home.

Shizuo Heiwajima craved peace in his life. Sitting alone in this apartment was as close he would ever come to attaining that quiet dream. He was normally satisfied with that. Just sitting alone, pondering over miscellaneous things while drinking milk or watching a little T.V. served to charge his battery since taking the time to sleep was normally counterproductive.

But on this night, Shizuo was restless.

Something just felt...off.

At one in the morning, Shizuo Heiwajima just couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing in his life.

No, scratch that. He _knew_ there was something missing in his life, but that thing he was thinking of was something he had come to terms with almost a year ago during the Slasher incident. He was a monstrous beast unable to control his temper and that would forever alienate him from others. Though he had managed to make friends in Tom, Celty, that weird doctor, Shinra, that little girl Akane, and a few others, Shizuo knew that _love_ and _companionship_ were things he would not gain in this life. Even among friends he was an abnormality, something to be fearfully respected because of his wrath and immeasurable power. Sure, he no longer hated himself for being the way he was since it was out of his control, but he still hated what this power meant for his life. Even in fighting for the right cause, this power makes him the personification of violence.

And all humans, to a degree, want some form of peace at the end of the day.

There's no one alive he could grant that peace to.

He was doomed to live a lonely life, but again, he had come to terms with that a year ago.

So what was making him feel down about it again now? Lonely or not, he could still be somewhat satisfied in his life, especially once he got rid of that wretched flea.

Even so...a wave of depression hit the blonde as his brown eyes followed the blades of the ceiling fan casting its revolving shadows over him.

" _I need a cigarette._ "

Rising up from the couch, Shizuo picked up the glass of milk and drank the rest of it before gently setting it back on the table. He tossed on the vest of his bartender outfit but left the tie where it lay on the couch as he headed for the door where he put on his shoes. Once they were firmly on his feet, he picked up his key from the hook on the wall and marched out into the brisk air.

For a few minutes he walked about, digging into his pants pocket for the silver lighter he carried with one hand and rummaging through his vest pocket for a lone cigarette with the other since he was pretty sure there was only one left in the box. The blonde briefly thought of Celty's rare written complaints about his habit as he plucked the lone white stem from its resting place. She would always type something along the lines of, "You're shortening your lifespan when you do that."

Oddly enough, her words ended up coercing him to smoke more.

While not suicidal, Shizuo felt he was a bit of a masochist the way he paraded about, beating the crap out of people left and right despite his hatred of violence. Truly he was an enigma, even to himself. Smoking was just another trait of his. He couldn't quit even if he wanted to. The nicotine helped him maintain some level control over his random bursts of rage. If it shortened his lifespan, well that's just how things had to be.

The man took in a long drag after lighting the white stick. Pursing his lips, he blows out a thin trail of white smoke into air already thick with pollution. His emotions seemed to settle a little upon this action, so he took another drag while continuing aimlessly down the street. The man had no planned destination. It just felt better to move about. Ikebukuro wasn't a city that slept, but at this time of night the area was at least quiet enough to allow a man to peacefully settle his thoughts.

Within the last few minutes it had started to rain, but the droplets weren't a heavy, pounding rain, just a soft drizzle that blanketed the dimly lit city in a dusting of liquid diamonds. The light sound of rain bouncing off the pavement calmed him further, eliminating his previous depression slightly. Stopping near an alleyway a couple blocks from his apartment, he threw down his half burnt cigarette, stomping on it before lifting his face to the clouds. The gentle drops pelted his skin as he closed his eyes, simply enjoying the weather.

Unfortunately for the blonde bodyguard, as thunder sounded off in the distance, another awful sound reverberated into the air. It was the chortles of laughter from a couple of no good punks. Shizuo knew this without having to open his eyes. Trouble seemed to find him no matter where he went. It aggravated him to no end.

Opening his eyes, he waited to hear the noise again. Sure enough he heard laughter a few seconds later. They were close, but Shizuo could tell that the voices weren't headed in his direction. His eyes drifted toward the alleyway when he heard the sound once more, looking just in time to see a flash of long silver hair, a midnight blue dress hugging delicate curves, and petite, bare feet among the shadowy silhouettes of five men disappearing into the alley. The blonde gritted his teeth at the sight, his temper flaring to life as per usual.

But Shizuo Heiwajima had no idea that his actions in the next few minutes would change the course of his life. Had he known what was to come...no, he probably wouldn't have acted any differently. While the man had a reputation for being the most violent monster of Ikebukuro, Shizuo was just a peace-loving gentleman who held a particular distaste for punks who took pleasure in harassing women in the middle of the night while he was trying to clear his head.

They were going to pay dearly for interrupting his peace.

* * *

A/N: And that's chapter two wrapped up in a bow. Chapter 3 is in its editing stage so I should be coming out with that soon. In the meantime, if you feel so inclined, share your thoughts about the chapter through a review. (And it would really help to know how I did with Shizuo's character since I've never written anything for him until now.) Thanks for reading and have a fabulous day! Until next chapter, TTY7 is signing out!


	3. Chapter 1: At Last We Meet

A/N: I totally forgot that I just had this chapter sitting in the fanfiction doc manager. Whoops. Sorry for the wait guys. Things have been a little crazy. Anyway, this chapter will be the longest thus far and is technically the legit first chapter since the first two were prologues. I hope you all will enjoy what's written. It'll probably be a bit before I'm able to update this one again, so I really hope you guys will like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara.

Warnings: Cliché bad guys are present in this chapter.

* * *

Chapter 1: At Last We Meet

* * *

" _This world is so beautiful..."_

The demonic blade turned human basked in the light of a dim street lamp, watching the towering city from afar with a twisted smile of anticipation for the blood she would spill in the near future, though for now she was content to listen to the droplets of sprinkling water echoing lightly off the asphalt. The lamp's cold light casted an eerie, ethereal glow over her pale skin, causing the few civilians that passed by to stare in wonder and fear at the mysterious, barefoot figure.

" _I'll add a portrait of love to this city_ ," she thought, leaning against the pole of the lamp. " _The hues of my passion will cover every inch. I will give birth to more and more children and they will return my unconditional love for them. Soon, thanks to the freedom this new body provides, the entire human race will love me as I have loved them. To be loved in return...that's all I want."_

Crimson eyes alight with longing remain fixated on the dark clouds rolling through the sky. Deep in thought, Saika was temporarily unaware of six questionable characters drawing near.

It wasn't until she heard the sound of a snicker that her gaze moved, her body twisting to meet the new sound. The figures were still a distance away, but began to pick up speed once they noticed her stare. Saika's smile widened as she anxiously waited for them, her grip tightening around the buckles of the shoes she still carried in her left hand.

Though she had been searching for another to carve her love into first, she figured if humans came in want for her love, she shouldn't deny them of it.

" _Cut...cut...cut...cut,"_ was the continuous mantra that ran through her mind upon seeing their faces. She could feel her new legs shaking in want.

"Hey there little lady," the first figure, wearing a yellow t-shirt underneath a black jacket paired with dark wash jeans, called out with a flippant wave. "What's a hot mama like you doing alone in the rain so late at night?"

Saika responded with a joyful stare, though to the rogue Yellow Scarves members approaching, it just looked blank and uncaring, even with the wide smile she was sporting. One of the younger thugs wearing a yellow cap seemed particularly spooked by her expression.

"H-hold on guys..."

The leader and the four other members ignored the plea, instead choosing to stand directly in front of her. "Don't leave us hanging baby? You scared?" He chuckled, leaning in close until his lips hovered over hers. "We just want to get to know you a little bit."

" _Cut them...show them your love. Cut them over and over..."_

These were Saika's thoughts when she lifted her left hand in a blur of motion, knocking the hand reaching for her chest away in a flash. Then, with a slower movement she started to bring the heel of her shoe down toward the man's chest.

He caught her wrist before the heel could reach him. A wave of confusion surged through the sword's mind.

" _Why did he stop me? I was giving him my love."_

The leader's grip tightened painfully around her wrist as she blinked in avid confusion at his actions. "Well, well, well. It looks like we have a feisty one fellas." Another snicker escaped him as he turned toward his associates. "How about we take her somewhere a little more private...a place where no one will hear her screaming."

Another wave of confusion coursed through Saika's new body when he flung her into the arms of two other men. Her shoes tumbled to the pavement, which the leader promptly picked up before shifting his gaze to the woman's bouncing chest. A trickle of blood slipped out of his nose at the sight. He sucked in a breath through his nose, hiding the evidence of his arousal while stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Alright boys, let's go take our new prize somewhere quiet."

Four of the other members agreed, but the younger fifth member began to back away from the group, not wanting to participate in what he was certain was going to be the rape of an innocent woman. The older thugs didn't notice, too excited by their new plans to see one of their own retreating from the sight. The sudden, light downpour drenched him while he ran toward the police station.

All the while, Saika hobbled along as the men holding her arms forced her forward. Though still smiling, the panic of confusion was growing within her. She didn't have the slightest idea of what was going on, but she was more concerned as to why she hadn't been able to cut the leader and why she couldn't cut the men holding her now.

Within the skin of another, when granted with enough power, Saika could move on her own and carve her love into whoever was near. Just recently she had done such a thing to a man who had touched Anri's shoulder. It was a quick prick, a small token of love Saika gave in response to Anri's fear of the man. He became one her dear children that day.

The men shoving her along down the sidewalk were gripping her upper arms tightly. With such contact she should have been able to cut them? Couldn't her skin summon its own blade?

No...it couldn't.

Saika suddenly realized her mistake.

Within someone else's body, she had been the blade to protrude from skin. There was no such creature living in her. Aside from her fingernails and the sharp heel of a shoe, at this moment, Saika wasn't capable of cutting anyone. To make matters worse, her heels had been taken and it usually took a great amount of effort for nails to break through skin. Right now, having just gained this new form, Saika didn't have the strength necessary to mar her precious humans.

There was a harsh push against her back, forcing Saika to withdraw from her thoughts for a moment as she fell against a brick wall. Laughter echoed around her, but Saika barely heard it. All she could process was regret for having been so foolish.

" _I can't show my love. This new form won't allow me to show them my love."_

Saika didn't look up as the leader pulled her up from the dirty ground by her long ivory hair. Roughly, he pushed her against the brick, watching her closely while she stared straight into his eyes.

Saika saw nothing but a chilling darkness in those eyes. There was no soul, no heart.

Was this man in front of her even human?

Her arms acted on their own for a moment, striking out in a desperate attempt to scratch him or draw the faintest hints of blood. Just a small thin line of the substance staining her hands would have been enough to satisfy her. Just to feel it on her skin would give her all she needed for the rest of her days.

"Scared now, princess?" The leader taunted, his soulless eyes still boring down on her while the thugs who had man-handled her before pinned her outstretched arms against the brick. One of those men kissed her neck, whispering, "Of course she's afraid, boss. Look at her eyes."

Saika felt no fear of anything, only despair in knowing she had no way to make her humans love her. Though she had watched humans for centuries, the blade didn't have a clear concept on human relations and was therefore clueless on what all women would consider a violation of their human dignity. Had she been aware, the demonic blade would have tried calling out to her children. Then again, there was no guarantee that they would have heard her or reached her in time.

Nothing had happened yet. The five men were arguing now, trying to figure out which one of them would get to have her first. Saika squirmed a bit when her arms cried out in discomfort which caused one of the five to withdraw a small switchblade.

The light glinting off the blade caused Saika's hope to return. With a soundless grunt she began to thrash more violently, her fingers reaching toward the knife.

"Hold still, slut!"

Saika didn't heed the command. She had to get that knife.

" _Please!"_ She begged inwardly, the twisted smile returning to her features in the wake of desperation. " _I need that to love you! I want to love you! All of you!"_

A fierce punch to her chest forced a soundless gasp to escape her. The hands locked around her arms again, forcing her to stay still. Another hand came to her neck seconds later, squeezing to the point of pain. Her eyes closed involuntarily.

The ache in her heart outweighed the pain surging through her human form.

" _Why? Why won't you let me love you? I don't understand."_

"You want this?"

Opening her eyes, Saika stared down at the knife she so desperately wanted to hold in her hand. He dangled it out in front of her, loosening his grip on her neck as he did.

"Sorry doll," he taunted, taking the hilt of the small blade more firmly in his hand. "But your requests don't mean anything here."

With a quick swipe, the blade cut across her face.

Saika's eyes widened at the burn of pain.

" _He cut me_ ," she thought, blinking in confusion. " _But it wasn't...it wasn't pleasant at all. It...was painful...?"_

The thugs also gaped in wonder when no blood dripped from the long scratch across her cheek. Instead the skin just sat there like torn fabric, hanging loosely before patching itself up in a blur of quick stiches. The two men holding her jumped back, releasing the demonic creature from the prison their arms had provided. All five of them stared down at her in fright, arming themselves with weapons even as she plummeted to the wet ground.

Around this time is when Shizuo Heiwajima finally appeared on the scene with his hands clutched tightly by his sides. His brown eyes quickly surveyed the five men clad in yellow first before taking in the woman on her knees.

It only takes an instant for him to snap.

"YOU FILTHY RATS!"

The five rogue members of the Yellow Scarves twist their bodies around, shaking in fear the moment they see Shizuo running toward them like an angry bull. With widening eyes, the five punks attempted to find a way out of the situation they had put themselves in, but the blonde bodyguard started beating them senseless before any of them could even scream properly.

A loud peal of thunder accompanied the roar and the stream of enraged curses that echoed into the night when the insanely strong male sent the thugs flying through the sky a minute or so later.

Saika is barely aware of Shizuo's presence throughout the ordeal.

He had been the human she had wanted to carve her love into most, but now...

" _I've been hurting them...all this time..."_

The guilt struck the dead organ in the blade's chest with a force that left her silently gasping for air while her thoughts continued on a violent torrent of horror.

" _The objects of my love...I've hurt them. I caused them pain. How could I have not known that?"_

Saika is a demonic sword by birth. In such a form, if she loves, she can only show it by cutting the ones she holds affection for. She never thought for a second that her love caused suffering, but then...she had never really taken the time to ponder over it either.

Having now endured forms of human pain, the sword understood the terror she had put her beloved humans through by slashing them. Her so called "Children" were nothing more than slaves controlled with her will. They didn't love her.

No one loved her.

And she didn't deserve to be loved, not after leaving behind so much sorrow. In her lifetime she had cut so many. Anri's parents had been driven to murder and suicide thanks to her influence over the house. She had just wanted to cut them...to love them.

Up until this point, Saika hadn't understood the concepts of agony...or death.

Now it was all too clear and it made the blade wish she had never come into existence. She hated herself. For the first time in her life, she despised her whole being.

" _What do I do now? I can't stay in this form, but to go back means to become an instrument of human pain again. I don't want that! I don't want to hurt them! I just wanted to love them and be loved. Is there something wrong with that?"_

Saika leaned back against the brick, pulling her knees up to her chest as she hung her head. The rain poured over her, soaking through her hair and dress. Everything felt so cold.

"Hey. You alright?"

Crimson eyes widened at the sound of his voice, lifting to meet warm chocolate irises.

At her lack of an answer, Shizuo let out a sigh while lowering himself to the ground. Once eye-level with her, he spoke again. "Are you alright? Were you hurt at all?"

Saika sat there, frozen stiff, unable to process his gaze boring into hers. Hot salt-water gathered in the corners of her eyes, begging to slip down the sides of her flawless face.

" _I wanted to love him so badly and now that he's here...I can't."_

Shizuo, noticing the glassy state of her eyes, let out another sigh. "I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to know if I need to take you to a doctor or something, so I'll ask one more time. Are you alright?"

Saika opened her mouth, forming words with her lips as she had seen humans do so many times...

Not a sound escaped her.

Immediately the demonic blade clasped her hands around her neck in the space where a human's voice box would be.

" _That's right_ ," she thought woefully, a terrible feeling of hopelessness overcoming her. " _I'm a sword whose only means of communicating with others is cutting. Even though I could mentally be in contact with my parasites, I never had an actual voice to communicate with. I have no voice...even in this form._ "

Shizuo's eyes widened slightly at her movements. "You can't speak?"

Saika shook her head, the tears finally spilling out of her eyes. Her pale hands flew up to cover her face, trying to hide her shame and hurt from the man in front of her. Part of her felt embarrassed for showing such weakness which made the wretched tears fall faster.

For a long moment, Shizuo simply stared at the crying woman, unsure of what he was supposed to do or if he should do anything at all. Clearly she was upset about what had just happened, but it seemed like there was something more bothering her. Having to deal with emotional women had always annoyed him, and he could feel himself teetering on the edge of his tolerance. After all, his whole reason for being out in the city at this hour had been to find that little bit of peace his home couldn't provide.

However, while annoyed at having to sit through waterworks, Shizuo stayed put, waiting patiently for the woman in front of him to calm down.

When he couldn't wait anymore, (which was about ten seconds later), he asked another question. "Do you have anywhere to go?"

Saika shook her head again, brushing away her tears in an almost violent manner. For a few seconds her hands continued to move about, almost as if she were apologizing to him. Shizuo wasn't sure of this and if he were to be frank, he didn't care all that much. The only things he knew for certain were the following.

One: This emotional woman in front of him has no means of communicating.

Two: She doesn't have a place to go.

Three: He is a gentleman and as a gentleman, he is obligated to offer his assistance to a lady regardless of the inconvenience.

Four: Her shoes were missing.

Five: He was really, REALLY tired.

Having listed out all the facts in his mind, Shizuo decided to focus in on the immediate problem while the woman in front of him was still crying. Glancing about, he noticed a pair of red strappy heels lying on the pavement nearby.

Saika had pressed her face against her knees, so she didn't notice when Shizuo rose to his feet.

" _What possessed me to ignore the screams? Did I not see? Did I not know? How am I to atone for this, being the demonic creature I am? If I could just...cease to exist, would that make up for the pain I caused? Would disappearing forever show humans my love for them? Would disappearing even matter to them? What should I..."_

Saika's thoughts trailed off when she looked up and saw Shizuo knelt before her again, holding out the red heels toward her face. "Are these yours?"

The demonic blade nodded slowly. " _Yes._ "

"Alright then."

Offering her a reassuring nod of his own, Shizuo backed up a bit and reached for her right foot with his left hand. Saika blinked in confusion again, but otherwise did nothing as his hand wrapped gently around her ankle. For a second he glanced at her, gauging her reaction.

Her blank stare caused him to blush. "Um..." he coughed, clearing his throat while keeping his gaze away from hers. "I thought I should help you out. Is that alright?"

Saika tilted her head, unsure, but after a few seconds she nodded her consent.

Encouraged by the nod, Shizuo barely lifted her foot from off the ground, angling it so he could slip the appendage into the red shoe. After buckling it for her, he repeated the process with her left foot.

The demonic blade wasn't sure what to make of these actions. " _Is this...how humans show their love?_ "

For all her centuries of being enthralled with humans, she really didn't know much about them.

Shizuo Heiwajima in particular, was an enigma among enigmas.

Once through buckling the second shoe, Shizuo lifted himself up from the ground before extending a hand towards her. Saika stared at it blankly at it for a moment, vaguely aware of two final tears that leaked down her face.

"I'll take you someplace safe," he began, looking a bit awkward as he waited for her to respond. "Obviously you're new around here, so I'll give you a bit of advice. Traveling alone at night is not a smart idea."

She continued to stare at his hand for a moment then shifted her gaze to his face. " _Why are you doing this?"_

Shizuo seemed to read the question on her face. "Can't say I know the reason either. I could say it's because I'm a nice guy or because you look lost, but..." he trailed off a moment, once again keeping his gaze away from hers.

" _But what?_ " she wondered silently.

Once again, the blonde bodyguard seemed to read the question in the air, and answered accordingly.

"I guess the real reason is because I know heartbreak when I see it," he offered with a shrug, his hand still outstretched. "Again, I don't really know." With another sigh he looked back at her. "So, are you going to take my hand or what?"

The sword hesitated, scared that placing her hand in his would somehow hurt him, but after a few seconds she lifted her hand halfway towards him and Shizuo reached out the rest of the way, his grip firm yet gentle as he pulled her up from the ground. Saika's legs wobbled at the forced movement, causing her upper body to crash into his chest.

"Careful," he muttered, keeping a loose grip on her arms while her hands gripped the back of his vest.

Saika nodded, slowly pulling back from him. For a brief moment she had heard the steady beating of his heart. It sounded...nice.

Shizuo's hands moved to her shoulders. "Do you think you can walk on your own."

The sword gave another nod, but the second she tried taking a step she stumbled again...and it wasn't because of the shoes this time.

Again she clutched the wet fabric of his shirt, cursing the violent shaking of her legs. " _I'm...so weak._ "

Shizuo found himself chuckling at her expression, his feelings of annoyance leaving him. "If you're unable to walk, I can carry you."

Saika fought the urge to blink in confusion again when he wrapped an arm around her back. " _Carry?_ "

Without a word, the man always clad in a bartender get-up swiftly bent down to lift her legs from off the ground. A silent yelp escaped the sword, her arms involuntarily wrapping around his neck. For another couple of seconds, her gaze frantically darted about in wonder at being airborne.

Once she stopped squirming, Shizuo turned away from the brick wall and briskly exited the empty alleyway with a blank look of contemplation on his face. Right now, he wasn't sure where he should take her.

Meanwhile, Saika stared up at him, questioning his actions while wondering what she was going to do now. The man she had wanted to love so desperately was holding her in his arms and she had no way to show her love now that she knew her old way caused pain. Transforming herself into a sword again was out of the question, but remaining in a human form was also a bad idea. She didn't belong in this world, Ikebukuro, or in this man's arms.

She didn't belong anywhere.

No one would ever return her love, but for now it was easier to pretend that in this moment, Shizuo Heiwajima did. With that in mind she leaned her head against his shoulder, content to rest in his warmth.

Right now, she needed nothing more than that.

* * *

A/N: So what did you guys think? Saika and Shizuo have made contact. (Though Shizuo has no idea at this time) What will follow? And when will the horror genre of this story kick into gear? Find out when the next chapter is posted...which will actually be a little while since I haven't written anything for chapter 4 yet. (Been a bit busy and I'm going on vacation next week so, yeah.) Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Thanks to those who have reviewed, followed, or favorited, this story so far. Please continue to leave feedback for me. It's extremely helpful, especially if you guys catch errors up there. Constructive criticism is welcome. Thanks again and have a wonderful day!


End file.
